8 Best ways to win the war between our ears
So, what is winning the war between our ears? We all have internal conflict taking place in our minds, and the reality is our conflicts are only about us. Furthermore, the fights we are fighting every day in our lives have nothing to do with anyone else. The challenge is to accept this as truth and stop pointing fingers making our thinking and problems about other people. If we can do this, we are able to grow in much more profound ways than we ever thought possible and build much more meaningful relationships in our lives. It’s not always easy to pull these things off there are challenges to them but in the end it’s worth the person you will become.
Once we start looking only at ourselves internal conflict becomes simpler. When we take others out of the equation in every aspect of this war, we can start understanding it and eventually begin winning it. The war between our ears is a web of thoughts (some automatic and some purposeful), attitudes, values, and beliefs we are comfortable with but hold us back from enormous potential. This war we are fighting for is to become the best version of ourselves and this can be accomplished by thinking deeply self-critically. It’s about holding up to our responsibility as humans and offering our service and gifts to others. Lastly, keep in mind that this doesn’t happen overnight it takes time to build momentum and find your balance. The following are 8 of the best ways we can begin to win the war between our ears.
1 Think about your thinking
We have thousands of thoughts a day, but just how often do we think about those thoughts? To win this war we need to stop and think about our thinking. It’s important to slow down and not make impulsive decisions in our lives. We can do this by taking time to think things through. “If I do this then this will happen” “What are the benefits of thinking this way” “What are the cons” “Who is being impacted by my thoughts” are all thoughts that will help us to think about our thinking. Lastly, if we think about our thoughts more often, we begin to focus on us, and internal change begins to manifest as a result we become more responsible.
2 You must Challenge your thinking
It’s one thing to think about our thinking but it’s a completely different to challenge the thought we are having. To win this war we must challenge our thoughts. Sometimes the thoughts are automatic and other times they are purposeful, but both need to be challenged if they are counterproductive to what we are trying to achieve. Adding some positive thinking into our thoughts is a good way to challenge them. “I’ve got this” “I’ve been through tougher things in my life than this” and “I am better than this” are all positive ways to challenge our thinking.
3 We must have Self-Awareness
Self-Awareness in the sense of fighting the war is slowing down and becoming aware of the thinking you’re having currently. It’s coming to the realization this thinking hasn’t worked in the past and will get in the way of progress in the future. It’s a knowing and understanding of self-limitations and self-abilities. Furthermore, it’s being able to look in a mirror and see yourself for who you are and what you are doing. Self-awareness is probably one the greatest defenses against winning the war between your ears.
4 We must be Mindful
We need to find peace with knowing what we are thinking may be wrong or counterproductive to our lives and the lives of others. Mindfulness is just that it’s about being open minded to the other possibilities that maybe we haven’t thought of yet. It’s also being opened minded to the possibilities that what we have discredited may actually be the right answer. If you want to gain further insight on Mindfulness, please check out the article on my website.
5 Always Seek Clarity
We need to always seek clarity especially when we think we have something figured out. There is always more to learn and understand. Seeking clarity is about asking questions or committing to think outside of your box. It’s about look for different answers to the situation in front of you. Often times to seek clarity we ask questions to others to gain more information. When we are talking about winning the war between our ears some of the dialogue may be external questions, but the real work is critically thinking and problem solving in our minds. Remember winning the war between our ears has nothing to do with anyone else.
6 Consider how your thinking impacts those around you
If we were aware our thinking was hurting someone, we might be more likely to do something about it. We need to consider one of the highest moral levels of thinking “Is how our thinking going to impact someone around us.” It’s very important to understand that our thinking typically will lead to actions and actions will hurt people. This happens especially when we aren’t thinking about our thinking. If we don’t have purposeful thoughts, we won’t have purposeful actions. We need to do the work with our thought process and our actions will speak for themselves.
7 Ask for help
Sometime to win the war between our ears we need to have a different strategy. One of those strategies is asking for help. Allow someone else to challenge your thinking. This takes a good deal of humility and acceptance. Additionally, we must also put our defenses down and become receptive and vulnerable for this to work. Remember we asked for it. We need to look through a lens that this will help us change (as meaningless as we think it may be). Furthermore, if we think what someone is telling us is meaningless are losing the war. Becoming the best version of ourselves is about finding value in other (thoughts and opinions). Winning the war between our ears is tricky work and takes a good deal of mental endurance.
8 Always search for Compassion
We always need to have compassion for ourselves and others. We may not know all the answers all the time but that doesn’t make us less in those moments. Compassion can be achieved by competence in a situation which is created by seeking clarity. The more we know and research about us and other the better chance we are to make a well-informed decision that minimizes harm. Compassion is one of the keys that create meaningful relationships with others. Sometimes it’s hard to get there but working at it pays off in the end. Lastly, we need compassion to win the war it tends to help us remember what we are really fighting for which is becoming the best version of ourselves.
Conclusion
Winning the war between our ears is difficult work. We need to fight for this because in the end there is a better version of us. Sometimes that war feels like there is no way out but that is only what we tell ourselves. If we want to win the fight, we need to be prepared to battle ourselves every day. Furthermore, we need to figure out what the high road is in every situation and take it every time. If we can commit to never stop fighting, we have committed to never stop serving others around us and we will be better for it.
If you like what you have read, check out other articles on the website ThinkingDeeplySelf-Critically.com the site is designed to give us tools and techniques to help us become the best version of ourselves. There are four main categories on the site. The Foundation, Our Responsibility to Us, Our Responsibility to Others and Facilitating Crisis. We can also be found on Pinterest.
I thank you for your time you have given me, and my hope is you have taken something with you today.
Sometimes we can get so caught up in our thoughts that we need a break. We recommend the following means of entertainment to get a way from the the days wars and let your mind leave tricky situations. Take time to relax and unwind. Coming back the next day after a good night sleep can give you a fresh perspective.
