8 Personal Pitfalls While Facilitation Crisis
If you are interested in learning more about facilitating crisis, please check out Part 1, 2, and 3. This article explains personal pitfalls while facilitating crisis. Crisis is a delicate process that has the potential to change moment to moment. Furthermore, there tend to be a significant number of moving pieces. Part 1 of facilitating crisis focuses on the foundational work that is essential in every situation. Part 2 takes a look at specific techniques that you can add to your ever-changing skill set or toolbox. Part 3 looks at what should be avoided in a crisis.
This article explores more helpful tips. It focuses on being self-critical and reflective of how we can impact or damage a crisis in profound ways if we aren’t careful. Taking a hard look at ourselves is vital in any crisis. The purpose of facilitating crisis is to do no harm or at least minimize harm in every way possible. Moreover, it’s about our responsibilities maintaining a healthy relationship with all involved all the way through the incident. There is much at stake in crisis, and we need to believe this deeply if we are taking on the responsibility of helping in one. All of these articles are designed to challenge our thinking, attitudes, values, and beliefs. They are created to help us become the best version of ourselves. If you like what you are reading in these articles, please check out the website Thinking Deeply Self-Critically.com.
1 Telling rather than asking questions and probe thinking
It’s important when engaged in a crisis we get into the habit of asking questions. Telling people what to do or what you think they need to hear is detrimental to the health of the relationship. Furthermore, it will stop progress you’re trying to make. It’s vital to help people explore what going on with them so they can gain more wisdom and deeper understanding about the situation. This can simply be accomplished by asking questions and probing their thinking. Something else worth mentioning in this section is giving people time to respond. Sometimes we jump the gun and move through thing to quickly. I have seen many situations go bad because of lack of patients on the facilitator’s part. These impacts everyone involved.
2 Take personal responsibility but don’t enable
When we make a mistake it’s vital to take responsibility for ourselves. This is no different in crisis. We can save face by owning responsibility if we mess up. On the other hand, helping other take responsibility is a vital part of others growth. This needs to be done with tactful intervention. A person may not be able to own responsibility right away. When we don’t allow others to take responsibility for their behaviors, we begin to enable them. Enabling behaviors allows a person to think what they are doing is acceptable and the behavior will most likely continue. Give people the benefit of the doubt. It’s tough to take responsibility for behaviors because of the mixed feelings and emotions that may come with it. You might have to wait a while before they own responsibility which is sometimes a typical part of the process.
3 Not being mindful of your personal space
Be careful of your personal space. Everyone deserves space when they are going through crisis in their lives. A rule of thumb is at least an arm’s length from them. Setting clear space and boundaries is a characteristic of a balanced person. People tend to connect with a balanced person easier than a non-balanced person. Sometimes you know the person in crisis, and you know what and how they prefer space. Use that to your advantage. If you don’t know the person, use transparency (be clear about what you’re going to do or needs done) with them with whatever action you are going to take. Remember, commit to doing/minimizing harm as well as maintain a healthy relationship.
4 Thinking that it’s about right and wrong
Human behavior isn’t an exact science. In fact, the idea of being right or wrong may lead to a power struggle. Being responsible for ourselves is everything. Instead of trying to prove we are right we should be asking ourselves questions like this: “Are we doing everything in our power in this moment to do no harm?” “Is our thinking and behaviors focused on serving this person to the best of our ability?” “What can I do to be more helpful?” “Is something I’m doing in this moment damaging the relationship?” Thinking or believing it’s about being right or wrong is a waste of time and stunts our personal growth. Lastly it does harm and breaks down any chance of a healthy or therapeutic relationship.
5 Thinking repetition isn’t helpful
There are times where we may feel like we are repeating ourselves. We all connect the dots at different rates. In other words, we all learn at our own speed. Repetition is an excellent strategy to help cultivate growth in ourselves and others. Repetition is like planting a seed and then watering it every day and eventually you have an amazing result. It’s easy for us to become frustrated when we feel we are repeating information we think someone should know. Facilitating crisis, we must get over our own personal distortions about repetition and do it because we understand deeply it works. We also do it because we know if we water a plant and then step on it repeatedly it’s not going to grow.
6 Not being aware of our body language
There is an old saying that actions speak louder than words. This is powerful stuff when it comes to crisis. People know when we are genuine. As a matter of fact, they pick a good portion of this up because of the way we behave. We need to be very purposeful with our body language when we are working with other (in all that we do). Not giving good eye contact, not crossing your arms, and smacking your lips to name a few are all things we should avoid. Now every situation is different and calls for different responses. It’s vital to present a body language that minimizes harm in your given situation. Lastly, we have the responsibility to mix it up as soon as we become aware of an adverse change we feel may do damage. So always be aware of your body language.
7 Not looking for a person’s strength
Whenever we see someone in a crisis situation it’s always good practice to start thinking about the persons strengths. If we can walk into situations thinking about the positive a person can bring to the table, it will give us an upper hand. One of our goals should be to build people up. One way to do this is identifying and playing off the persons strengths. We don’t want to make it necessary obvious come across fake but tactfully incorporate their strengths into the conversation. We all have things in our lives that we excel with. This is no different with someone going through crisis. Sometimes they need help seeing the good in themselves.
8 Not being transparent
It’s important to keep people in the know every step of the way especially if it has impact on their lives. Transparency does just that. There may be time where we think a person knows something but just like repetition it’s important to remind them again. Transparency is important because he helps people see thing more clearly. Additionally, if there are expectations involved being transparent will make them more easily attainable. Transparency also helps fight and even may eliminate any deceptive thinking a person may have about us. Lastly, transparency is a great strategy to develop strong, honest, long lasting, and meaningful relationships.
Conclusion
Being self-reflective is tough work but it becomes much tougher if we are in a crisis. Sometimes we have to make multiple decisions extremely quickly because of how the crisis is escalating. This work takes practice for most of us for some it may come naturally. This is our duty to our brothers and sisters, we must keep ourselves in check, and commit to minimize harm and keep relationship with others as healthy as we possibly can.
If you like what you have read, check out other articles on the website ThinkingDeeplySelf-Critically.com the site is designed to give us tools and techniques to help us become the best version of ourselves. There are four main categories on the site. The Foundation, Our Responsibility to Us, Our Responsibility to Others and Facilitating Crisis. We can also be found on Pinterest.
I appreciate the time you have given today to read my work and I hope something you have read has stuck with you.
