Developing relationships is a certainty if we want to have a productive life. Developing meaningful relationships is vital if we want to live a high-quality life in unity with others. So, what does it mean to develop meaningful relationships?
The ability to cultivate a deeply profound loving and caring connection with other people in your social group. This condition is created through self-reflection, seeking clarity, being mindful, instilling hope, and minimizing harm to people you surround yourself with and come in contact with daily.
There are many other characteristics and conditions that can be created while developing meaningful relationships. Before we get to that let’s start with a deeper look at the meaning of a social group. A social group consists of people you allow to be in your circle or close to you. This can include family, friends, co-workers, and so on. The great thing about your social group is you get to decide whom you let in and who doesn’t make the cut.
Understanding how to develop your social group is vital. Letting people in who have the same goals, values, and boundaries as you can create a stronger group. While those who have different goals, values, and boundaries may be toxic to your circle. Something I have learned over the years it this group changes as we develop into a better version of ourselves.
As I got older, I began to see a clearer picture of who was in my corner and who wasn’t. With clarity, it makes decisions of whom we let in and whom we let go much easier. Our social group can also naturally change as we navigate this world and our lives. The key point to remember is our social group is where we want to focus our time and attention on developing meaningful relationships. Lastly, taking it a step further the items in this article are for any contact with anyone. They are considerations that ultimately help us continue on the path of becoming the best versions of ourselves.
The groundwork of meaningful relationships.
Creating Conditions
How we appear to others has a lot to do with creating conditions. An example of this is if we are calm collected and a good problem solver in others’ eyes. Then being calm, collected and problem solver are the conditions we have created. Another example: if we walk into a room and look confident and happy others around us may be more likely to approach and interact with us. If we walk into a room angry people may not give us a second glance. Conditions can be created before we ever have met someone by word of mouth or even reading something we have written.
Creating conditions is vital to developing and maintaining meaningful relationships. Let’s take this a step further. If we damage our relationship with one of our conditions, we have the responsibility to make it right. We are responsible for the conditions we create. Unfortunately, there may be conditions out there that give us a bad name. It’s still our responsibility to fix them. This work of becoming the best version of us is a tough job but it can be accomplished.
Clarity
We are often quick to react to things we may know nothing about. By reacting we may harm others. So, it’s vital, especially in relationships to always seek clarity. Asking questions about situations is the best way to seek clarity. Even if you think you know the answer it’s always good to seek clarification.
The more you know or the more clarity you have the more competence you gain. Competence is simply a deeper understanding of what is happening in a given situation. The great thing about competence is it takes us to a vital place. Competence gives us compassion. With a deeper understanding, we can experience compassion for what going on in a person’s life. To wrap clarity up. When we seek clarity, we gain competence which leads to compassion for others and their circumstances.
Being Mindful
There are many times in our lives when we believe we are right about something. More often than not we find out later we are wrong. The reality is when it comes to relationships right and wrong shouldn’t matter. What matters is how we are interacting with each other.
When we are being mindful of the possibilities, we are walking in every situation openly and with transparency. When we are open, we can allow the environment to come in so we can process what’s happening. Being open allows us to be less judgmental about what’s going on in the current moment. Transparency is about allowing things you would normally judge to pass through you and out the other side. Hanging on to the reactions of others is detrimental to how we respond.
Mindfulness is also about letting go of control and being open and transparent can help you do this. Our control creates a condition of closed-mindedness or selective seeing and hearing in relationships.
Instilling Hope
All of us could use someone in our corner rooting us on. If we want to develop meaningful relationships in our lives, be that person for everyone. If you want to look deeper into instilling hope in others, check out the article on the website designated to it. I define it as “Looking through a lens of profound understanding and infinite compassion: being the guiding light for others that shines “Life will get better for you.”
Many relationships in your life can be acquired by practicing this concept. One of the biggest is gaining a deeper understanding of how to leave a conversation where everyone feels empowered. Not only because of your presents but because of your purposeful actions. Furthermore, if you implement this into your practice you just make people around you feel good. There is an old saying “Attitudes are Contagious.” When you instill hope, be that contagious attitude.
Minimizing Harm
One of the most important pieces of any relationship is minimizing harm. There is probably no way to eliminate harm. As humans we error. We need to reduce it any chance we get. The essence of minimizing harm is being able to read people and situations. Furthermore, it’s a constant awareness and evaluation of your behaviors.
We have the responsibility to change our approach if what we are doing is creating a condition of harm. If a person is responding adversely to us, we should always take the higher road. Minimizing harm is about problem-solving and resolving conflict in our relationships. We need to do it in such a way that a person can walk away feeling good. Minimizing harm is an art and it takes us letting our control go and expecting nothing in return. Minimizing harm is a humbling experience.
What’s Next
So, you have dug in and applied Mindfulness, Clarity, Instilling Hope, Creating Conditions, and Minimizing Harm. You might ask what else is there. Well, there are many other characteristics of a meaningful relationship, and some that can’t be overlooked. The following are a few of those features to consider.
Characteristics of a meaningful relationship that can’t be overlooked.
Dependable
There needs to be a high level of resiliency in relationships. We need to keep coming back. Moreover, we need to continue cultivating a condition of dependability. This isn’t just answering phone calls or text messages. It’s being present at the moment with a person. It’s also being on time. We need to be the kind of person that others can count on through thick and thin.
For some, dependability will take work, and for others, it may come naturally. Whatever the case it’s a vital element of a meaningful relationship. People know if you are dependable or not. If you think deeply enough about it you know if you’re dependable. If you make a mistake, be transparent about it. Own it and make it right. Remember dependability is a condition we create it has nothing to do with anyone else.
Prioritizing
There is an order of importance to our lives, or at least there should be especially when we are talking about developing meaningful relationships. Maybe you have heard the saying God, family, then work. Well, there is truth to this. Believing in something greater than us is just powerful stuff, whatever that may be for you. Family needs to come second to friends and work. God and Family are powerful values to have in your life. Family doesn’t have to be blood either.
Prioritizing helps us spend the short amount of time were given where it’s most important. As we get older time tends to speed up. We begin to spend our time on the important people in our corner. Another great part about prioritizing is we get to pick our company. We also get to set boundaries with those that don’t make the cut. Lastly, prioritizing puts us around the most important people whom we will spend the rest of our lives with.
Persistently Preserver
Thinking we only need to take action once or twice to rekindle a relationship isn’t enough. Maintaining a relationship is a commitment and takes mental endurance. We need to fight for relationships. Repetition may seem like you’re spinning your wheels but in fact, it’s key to cultivation. Relationships take persistence. Persistency shows others that you have invested in them and that you care.
We need to preserve and win people who are important to us. Taking action is a huge key. Often time we have thoughts about what we want to do or change about a relationship. Those thoughts are only meaningless thoughts if we don’t take action. Furthermore, not only do we want to show up and take action we want to make those actions meaningful. Persistently persevering can be a second-by-second or minute-by-minute process. In a way, it can be how we begin to build momentum in long-lasting relationships.
Self-Control
Sometimes our mouths and actions can get us into a world of trouble. We need to be thoughtful before we speak something into existence. Self-control is about paying attention to what we are thinking and doing. We need to be disciplined in our approach to others. Our behaviors must be purposeful and tactfully presented.
Self-Control is about reading and watching people. It’s about being ready to change up your approach when things don’t go quite right or even extremely wrong. Furthermore, it’s about making our mistakes right when we do mess up. Self-Control is the essence of taking full responsibility for yourself even when others are unable to do so in a moment or a situation. Lastly, it’s about always being committed to doing what you know is the right thing.
Conclusion
The most fundamental core of the website ThinkingDeeplySelf-Critically.com is becoming the best version of us by serving others. Developing meaningful relationships is vital to this process. Relationships take many things to grow strong and gain the closeness and intimacy that they are meant to have. Finding meaning in relationships takes seeking clarity, being mindful, creating conditions, instilling hope, and minimizing harm. Cultivating a relationship takes actions of dependability, prioritizing, persistently persevering, and self-control. Developing meaningful relationships is a fight and it’s our job to win it if we want that connection with others.
If you like what you have read, check out other articles on the website ThinkingDeeplySelf-Critically.com the site is designed to give us tools and techniques to help us become the best version of ourselves. There are four main categories on the site. The Foundation, Our Responsibility to Us, Our Responsibility to Others and Facilitating Crisis.
The Harvard Grant Study is the longest research study in the world that discusses the importance of relationships and how it relates to our health and ultimately living a longer and more meaningful life.
