Changing and Preventing Counterproductive Thinking and Behaviors
There are thoughts and behaviors that do nothing for us accept keep us stuck. Counterproductive thinking and behaviors will keep us on a path that takes us no ware. It prevents us from becoming the best version of ourselves. Additionally, when we have counterproductive thoughts and behaviors, any movement in our lives will “cycles”. As a result, change is less possible and can even be nonexistent. If we don’t exit this counterproductive cycle, we cannot expect to make improvements and live a productive lifestyle
The following is a plan that will challenge current thinking and behaviors and will help prevent future issues. It doesn’t take a ton of work just an open mind. Furthermore, you need to allow yourself to raise and gain awareness by identifying the thoughts and behaviors that keep you stuck. By doing this, you can learn to combat counterproductive thinking and behaviors. Lastly, it will help you control, bring new perspective and improvement into productive thoughts and behaviors you currently have.
1 Identify your attitudes, values and beliefs associated with your counterproductive problems
In the most simplistic terms Attitudes Values and Beliefs are the lens in which we translate our worldview. They dictate the decision making in our lives. They are our core being and make up who we are. As a result, when we are challenged in any way that goes against them, we typically become defensive. A great way to identify them is identifying our defensiveness. This is where it’s vital to be open-minded. Whenever we become defensive, we need to ask ourselves “why we are so defensive.” Our “why” generally has something to do with our attitude toward a situation, what we value or believe.
Here is an example: Let’s say your view of the world is “I’m number one.” This means everything filtered through this view (I’m number one) puts you first and everyone else second or less than you. So, your decision making with this view will only benefit you because no one else matters. When “I’m number one” is challenged to look at how their actions are impacting others one thing happens. They will turn up the defensiveness in some way, shape or form. The tactics and behaviors will begin to come out. The refusal to look at self will become non-existent. Unless of course the “I’m number one” is changed through an open mind”
Bottom line if we want to change, we need to start being aware of how our Attitudes Values and Beliefs are impacting us. Moreover, if we want to take our thinking to a much higher moral level of thinking we need to give deep consideration about how we are impacting those around us.
2 Urge Control
One of the first step after you have identified Attitudes Values and Beliefs it to create some type of urge control. Urge Control is an external or internal patch that can get us through a situation when there is a great risk to act out on old thinking and behaviors. It can be some positive self-talk, a piece of paper that you hold in your pocket with a reminder of what you’re working for or maybe it’s a picture to remind you of what’s important. Get creative with this. Urge Control is only really needed at the beginning of the change process although it can be used throughout and whenever you want to change old thinking and behaviors.
Example: When you are identifying you are using “I’m number one” use your urge control to challenge it and get you back on the track you want to be on.
3 Identify Triggers
What takes our thinking and behaviors to the next level? Often time there is this dormant point or pretending everything is normal. Staying in a “pretend normal” state only last for a short while when we are discussing counterproductive thinking and behaviors. A trigger can be internal or external and it’s the thing that takes us out of the normal. The trigger takes us into what is called the Build-Up stage. Triggers are going to differ for each individual person. Again, they can be internal or external. Triggers stimulate our thoughts and encourage us to move forward with the counterproductive thought our behavior. Once we can identify the trigger that sends us further into a cycle then we can challenge it to help prevent our old ways.
There are positive triggers in our lives that reinforce positive behaviors. An example may be knowing that you’re going to see a loved one you haven’t seen for a long time. The anticipation begins to build until you actually see them. The following are explanations of internal and external triggers as they pertain to counterproductive or negative thinking and behaviors.
An Internal Trigger is an initial thought that crosses our minds that send us to deeper thinking about something that isn’t healthy.
An External Trigger is the initial situation or observation outside of us that we use our senses to interpret (sight, sound taste smell touch) which send us into deeper thinking about something that isn’t healthy.
Knowing our triggers can help us fight the cycle. If we can identify them early enough, then we have a better chance of correcting them and a better chance of moving toward more productiveness.
4 Understanding Seemingly Unimportant Decision Making
After we have that initial trigger, we begin to take our thinking to a different level. It starts to take off rather quickly. Let’s take a different example to help expand these concepts. Let’s talk about food and weight gain. Say you’re trying to lose weight. A trigger may be thinking, seeing or smelling a particular food “chocolate cake”. The first thought that may come to our minds after this may be “Wow that sounds or smells good.” If we can’t exit this trigger we will eventually eat get and eat this cake. Seemingly unimportant decisions are each little decision you make that gets you closer to eating that cake. Here is each poor decision in this situation: (1) Grabbing a fork and knife out of the draw and (2) then getting a plate out of the cabinet. (3) Cutting a piece of cake and (4) then putting it on your plate. (5) Putting cake on your fork and (6) then lifting it toward your mouth.
Each of these little decisions may not seem important at the time but they put us at a high risk to eat that cake. Also, each decision could have been exited. We could have used urge control, or we could have used something else in our plan.
Keep in mind this plan and concepts can be used for anything we want to change mental, physical, spiritual health, fitness, finances, substance use and so on. As you probably already know the sky’s the limit on what we can change. Lastly, remember we need to increase our awareness and focus on small steps. Those small steps help us build momentum. From the example if we would have told ourselves “I don’t need cake or I need to stay away from the draw” we may have been able to exit the trigger.
5 Identifying Your Most Dangerous Thinking Feelings and Behaviors
Each little decision to eat that cake was a high risk to act out and eat it. It’s important to understand that there are thousands of thoughts running through our minds daily. This is why it’s important to start identifying patterns of risk in ourselves. In all honesty, it may sound complicated but really, it’s not. We all have Thinking, Feelings and Behaviors that are risky to us. It’s a matter of identifying them and challenging them.
When I used the word pattern all I’m saying is risky thinking, feelings and behaviors tend to repeat themselves. You may only have one or two of each of them and if you can identify them you can plan for the next time you encounter them. Typically, in my experience it’s important to brainstorm. Journal or write them down so you can see them come to life. Writing out at least 5 of each and circling the most dangerous helps raise awareness.
Here are some risky thinking, feelings and behaviors using the chocolate cake example.
Risky Thinking: “I’m hungry” “That chocolate cake sounds good” “I know it’s down on the counter” “One piece will not hurt me” “I will burn those calories off tomorrow”
Risky Feelings: “Stress” “Excitement” “happy” “unsatisfied” “Anxious” “Moody”
Risky Behaviors: (1) Grabbing a fork and knife out of the draw and (2) then getting a plate out of the cabinet. (3) Cutting a piece of cake and (4) then putting it on your plate. (5) Putting cake on your fork and (6) then lifting it toward your mouth. These behaviors can also be those Seemingly Unimportant Decisions, but they may not be either.
After you identify by journaling or writing them down try and identify the ones that come up the most within you. Furthermore, try and identify the most dangerous or risky. It’s important to understand in this example I am using chocolate cake. It might be better to go much broader with the example. Eating anything sweet when you’re trying to lose weight can be a high risk. Maybe you identified the “I’m Hungry” is your most risky thought and you get this way when you are “stressed” about something. As a result, you begin to behave a certain way.
Again, if you can identify your most dangerous thoughts, feelings and behaviors you will have a much better chance of changing.
Conclusion
This article covers the first half of the Change and Preventing Plan. It’s vital to begin breaking down what’s going through your mind. In (part 2) the planning really starts to unfold. It will help you figure out what to do once you have identified the happenings in your mind. I hope I have helped in some way gain new insight. The change process can be tough work.
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